On The Ridiculousness Of Gold-Plated Bathtubs – John Johnson

Sir Richard Hedgeworth the Third
Lavishly bathes in
One of his 24-karat gold plated bathtubs.

Servants meticulously replenish
the lukewarm bath water,
Maintaining a Goldilocks temperature imprecisely.

Epsom salts and lavender in proportion,
To preserve his unblemished skin,
Unspoiled by a single day of hard labor.

A tray of strawberries sits on a gold table,
Chocolate dripping down his belly as his corpulent love handles bob,
Like a meatball in minestrone soup.

But baby shampoo gets in his eyes,
Sending him screaming like a big baby.
A sight to be unseen.

A large spoiled naked man stomping through his castle.

John Johnson is a writer from the suburbs of Washington, DC.

Image via Pixabay

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